And good morning! It's 7:10 am and I am fighting to be awake. The diet pills are a God send, considering the fact that I have the most horrible time sleeping and they give me energy.
My sleeping routine has been whacky, but even more so after reading Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. Its such a heavy story line, and the fact that Lia is seeing ghost kind of messes with my imagination. I can say I'm glad the story is over, it was a good read but I'm happy to be done with it. I couldn't handle Lia's bestfriend Cassie always haunting her and trying to convince her to die also. But I do like the fact that Lia is so strong when denying herself food. Though in this book it did make me think twice about whether I really wanted to be like her. I mean, yes I need more self control, but not to the point where I carry so much pain internally that I want to just cut myself open and float away. I want to find a happy medium, where I can restrict, I can say no to food if I choose to ("no, i don't HAVE to have that cupcake or that brownie") but I can also say yes to food and not hate myself. Especially if it's healthy. Lia had such a negative view of herself, which I too find myself having but I try harder to focus on making my body and food habits better than just mentally beating myself by saying 'im stupid, im fat, im ugly, i suck'. Sometimes I do feel like that, which motivates me to fix myself so I WONT ALWAYS feel that way. That type of energy exerted will be percieved by everyone you come in contact with. People will feel your weakness and use that to their advantage to get over on you. Which is why you must be strong, and try your best to be confident. Life is shark tank, well adult life is. This is had been the hardest adjustment I've ever made, and I'm still trying to find myself in the midst of it all.
Random ramble of mine. I wanted to get it off my chest. Idk if any of you feel the same...
But umm Zantrex 3 is working wonders. I'm going to be completely honest with you all. I weighed myself like.. Friday or Saturday and I had ballooned back up to 176 lbs, (i had to be bloated) but as of this morning I'm at a solid 169.2lbs. Which sounds more legit. And I'm thinking I can get down to 166-167lbs by Friday but I'm still aiming for 164lbs. The pills MUST be working, and I'll give you the stats on the 14th. I still got time to get this weight off:) Excited! The food intake has been getting better. You all should really email Ell, she's really awesome to talk to.
But so am i! <3 email@example.com, alright ladies. Let's go get them today:)
Oh yeah, let me know what you guys think of Wintergirls. It was just a little heavy for me, but I would recommend that people read it. It gives you perspective..