Tuesday, January 17, 2012

After hour thoughts.

I should never let anyone or anything make me feel stressed enough to binge. I will stop that behavior. Im seriously looking forward to going to the doctor once I get some medical insurance (soon im sure). I had antidepressants and anxiety meds once before, but I quit them after like a month. Maybe I shouldnt have? Ive been noticing how I can feel so low so fast, the hole is deep and almost  infinite. Im trying to stabilize myself, one day at a time. My weight is a even 170lbs, not happy or sad about that. But new goal loose 5lbs in... 11 days? Hell why not? 165lbs will feel better than 170 any day:)

Okay so ive made a awesome Clamato/V8 inspired drink today. And the taste is explosive. I wish to continue with the liquid fast, and maybsss eat fruit? Ehhhh, naw. When I eat it frightens me. Like my mind is relieved that I gave up again, and is ready to eat anything not nailed down. Discipline, discipline. Its weird. So cinnamon is amazing. Ive been putting it in my salads, you ladies should try! Its something else, like your eating your salad and all of a sudden you taste cinnamon and its a whole different way of experiencing food. Cinnamon is usually associated with sweet taste so when you have it with salt, vinegrette, lettuce, you discover another level of flavor. Thats how it is for me, its my thing. I put cinnamon in my smoothie of: celery, canned stewed tomatoes, vinegar, pepper, vegetable seasoning, redpeppers, cayenne pepper, white onions, 1/2 scoop vanilla protein powder and cucumbers. Lol its crazy, it wakes me up. Im no chef, I just get inspired from time to time. So imma be sipping on that and save some money. Its late, I have to be up in like 3 hours. Yayyy school...

Have a skinny day everyone:) Ill be getting to blogs later on tomorrow im sure.

Oh YEAH! Thank you Jesus for MLK!<3 America isnt perfect, but she has come a long way.


  1. You're totally right: the only solution to avoid binge eating is to avoid stress first. Hope you'll find a way out!
    By the way, your recipes inspire me a lot, I'll definetly try!
    Kiss, Jay :)

  2. Wow, that sounds like it could actually be super amazing :)

  3. <3 gah. i hate the binging because you feel low. i always binge when i have a horrible Bio exam. and before hand, i have a higher intake, because it's my BIO exam for fuck's sake! dammit.
    i used to put cinnamon in my tea and put it in my microwave so it can dissolve. oh and on my oatmeal. it's a huge appetite suppressant as well from what studies have said! when you smell cinnamon, you just feel the fullness of it. gahhh. <3
    yeah. you should eat fruits. we're constipated enough as it is, so at least make sure your bowels are still working, eh?!
    no seriously. that's my number one reason for eating fruit as whole. :)

    -Sam Lupin

  4. that smoothie sounds ahmazing! I'm so going to try this.
    Good luck lovely(:

  5. cinnamon is also great for regulating blood glucose and keeping it from spiking and dropping too fast, which is good for controlling hunger. I put it in coffee and soup as well, it's amazing! good luck with losing the 5 pounds! xx

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